Why is it that when my son gets in trouble, I feel horrible?
Well, maybe not horrible, but definitley guilty…
Ben is almost 5. He’s counting down, 11 days to go. He knows the rules of the house, and I’m not a strick mom (maybe that’s my problem) his rules are simple. No Thumping (People live below us) No Yelling in the house (The baby is sleeping) No Cussing (Yes, he knows a few, and I blame The Cat In The Hat Movie…He couldn’t have learned it from us) No Whining (Yeah, right…) and No Pushing the mattress off My Bed and using it for a slide (His most favorite thing to do).
Now, the last one is what got him put to bed tonight. You see, he pushed the mattress off the bed, and his father was home. If it was just me, I would have let him do it a few times, then gone in and make him help me remake the bed. Really, what harm is he causing? We have the CRAPPIEST mattress on the face of the Earth. Seriously, anything he could ever do to it, would probably make it better.
Either way, the whole Matress thing is a Daddy Rule, and since Daddy was home, Ben got a 10 minute time out. He survived.
We had a chore tonight of cleaning the Gerbil cage, and Ben was excited to help. Since his attention span is only about 5 minutes, he didn’t help for long. But he did make an appearance throughout the chore. Drying this piece and wanting to hold the gerbils. We were almost finished when I heard that noise that I knew would make Daddy blow his top, and I could get to him fast enough to quietly get him out of my room before Daddy heard him.
“That’s It, Your Done – GET TO BED!”
So, now he lays there, sleeping wonderfully (for some reason he always sleeps better when he’s in trouble) and I feel horrible. He didn’t get to see how we set up the gerbil cage, I didn’t get to read him a story or snuggle up with him. Just a quick kiss and an I LOVE YOU.
Kids supposedly learn what they can get away with from each parent. Apparently Ben is behind in that area. Or he would have waited until morning to play on my bed, while Daddy was at work.
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Kids will always push the boundaries. They will sometimes test you both to see if you work as a united front – which is exactly what you need to do.
I know what you mean about the feeling bad when he’s in trouble. When my boys were sent to bed early or in trouble my heart broke for them and I just wanted to go cuddle with them and make them feel better. BUT, they have to learn that for every action there is a reaction. Don’t worry, you are doing a great job. Ben is a very smart boy and he knows exactly how very much he’s loved. Stick to the rules you have set for him and he will learn. You are a great Mom.
Love ya
Awww….I can definitely understand your feelings. The hubby and I sometimes have different views of what is serious and what isn’t with the kids. We usually tend to go with whatever the other decides just for consistency purposes. But, yeah…I get those guilt feelings too when the kids get in trouble.
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